Daily Battles

I’m sitting in our unfurnished salon (aka living room) and surveying the state of things and I’ve realized that the little patches of chaos in various corners of the room are indicative of how I feel. I’m not going to act like our move to Ethiopia made life this way, I think I’ve always carried a bit of disorder and chaos with me. But, the move certainly hasn’t helped.

In one corner…

I am a student again. I didn’t realize until I became a student again at 33 that I have always been a fairly poor student. Don’t get me wrong, I made good grades, especially in college. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t wait until the last minute to do things and I certainly didn’t make my studies a priority. In the twelve years (that hurts just a bit to say) since I graduated from college my habits as a student haven’t changed much. I’m easily distracted from my studying and it takes a long hard push to get me to actually sit down and study.

In another corner…

Dawit is 3. Need I say more? Looking around the room most of the items strewn here and there are Dawit’s, left from a morning of play or even a previous day of play. Dawit certainly adds to the disjunct functions of my brain. All parents have been there, you are in the middle of a task and then a little voice asks you to get something or play something or sit down so he can play with your “ball hair” (Dawit currently is a fan of my quickly pulled back buns). Unlike my study time which is a small little voice in my mind urging me to sit down and look over notes, Dawit is mobile and thus he and his inquisitiveness can follow me from room to room and demand my attention.

In another corner…

Not many people can say that they have two homemade brooders and a homemade incubator sitting in their living room. I should consider that a privilege, right? In all seriousness, I am pretty excited that I have a working incubator (that is currently running, though empty) in the main room of my house. It actually makes me a little sad to know that in a few days those things will be heading down to Chencha with my husband. The husband part makes me really bummed. The start up of the hatchery has created it’s own exciting kind of chaos for me. Jon has spent many hours making and tweaking his designs and so in someways he has added to my muddle. If he is working I try to occupy Dawit which means that all other things come to a halt (or I overflow the washer).

In the last corner…

We have a mess of a computer workspace taking up the last corner. That mess may just be representative of me and my current relationship with technology. I have a love hate relationship with technology. I don’t think I’m alone. I love that I can hop on Facebook and see what friends and family are up to in the states. However, often times, knowing what is going on makes me miss home and family more than I already do. Facebook, more often than not, just makes me feel left out of all the stuff I enjoyed about home. Then there is e-mail. I always feel behind on e-mails (and blog posts) and then when I do catch up on an e-mail or two if I don’t get a response I usually feel forgotten. I’ve been battling that feeling since we left. I have to remind myself that whether internally or externally most people have a “messy computer area” and snarls of their own.

Despite these battles and the fact that there are multiple pairs of my child’s underwear lying on my living room floor ( just glanced again and noticed them) I know I am so blessed. My nature and this world sometimes tries to make me forget that. Is my kitchen currently full of dirty dishes? Yes. Do I need to eek out some study time? Yes. Did I loose one of my baking pans to the incubator? Yes. Do I have a God who loves me? Absolutely. Do I have an incredible family? No doubt about it. Am I living in a place filled with hidden glimpses of beauty and grace? Right now, I wouldn’t be anywhere else.

Our salon (living room) on a typical day in my life.

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3 comments

  1. Your salon is lovely! The “chaos” in that wonderful room is the example of your life- which is to minister to all who you value in that big heart of yours! What an exciting place you are, fighting for the Kingdom of God!
    Girl, though you may not hear from your stateside peeps as quickly as you like, you are definitely not forgotten! Love you Jess! Thanks for giving me a glimpse of your thoughts! Praying for peace and perseverance in the Glorious Name of Jesus!

  2. We are so proud of what you all have accomplished so far. Although we miss all of you, you are the light we all are asked to shine. Praying for you daily!!!
    Mandy

  3. We love you guys! Praying for you and thankful to be used a SMALL bit as part of the team that God uses to provide for you! You’re prayed for monthly as we send our support. We are soooo excited about the work God is already doing through you guys and MUCH MORE to come. Much love from the McGoos!

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