Jess Bridges
I’ll admit it, I’m not always productive. I can be quite good at wasting some time, on my phone, on the web, reading junk fiction, staring at a fire-all the usual ways. That being said, I also accomplish a lot during the day and often feel like I’m whirring through the house and doing multiple things at one time, making lunch (from scratch), doing laundry, teaching home school, playing Barbies, cleaning the kitchen-nothing too unusual. Added to my day to day is that I’m split between two parts of the world. I want to be present and engaged with my life in rural Ethiopia and I want to be in touch and connected with my family and friends in the United States. This all sounds pretty normal, but with it comes the feeling of not being enough. I look at the moments I steal playing on my phone or watching a movie in the evening and think, “have I wasted opportunity for better things?” The honest answer, probably. I also realize that sometimes it is nice to step away from trying to balance life that covers 8000 miles. In the moments that I think, “I probably should have done this instead of that,” the enemy sees that crack in my armor and chooses to attack. Often, the end result is that I listen to those lies and believe that I am not enough. I’m failing and floundering. That is exactly what the enemy wants. He wants to see me sink into a feeling that no matter what I do it isn’t enough, so why bother.
It’s in those moments as I feel myself slipping down into that pit that I can feel a hand reaching down to me and powerfully pulling me back up. The owner of that hand reminds me, “he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). The enemy would have me believe that I will always fail and never be enough. My Savior speaks to me with truth and love and reminds me that I have a powerful ally in Him and that if I stop trying to do it all by my own strength that He will help me carry the load. I need to spend time with Him and in His word to correct my vision and priorities. Often correction is a process that takes time. Will I sometimes falter? Absolutely. Will I choose the wrong priorities sometimes? Totally. Does that mean I’m failing? No!
If I ask for help, Christ will help me find a balance. He called me to this place at this time. Is it crazy and hectic, and special and valuable all at the same time? Definitely, which is all the more reason why I have to hold tight to that hand that lifts me up and helps me balance the chaos.
All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. Matthew 11:29